I've been waiting for an experience that would be a perfect introduction my "LA" post and I finally came upon it. Yesterday during a break in my 6 hour electrical training, I went to the bathroom. As I unzipped and let it all out, something in the urinal caught my eye. There, next to the urinal cake, right in the path of my stream was a sticker that read: "Security First".
Security is very important here, so I've been procrastinating writing this because employees are supposed to keep a low profile in terms of their employment. As such, to keep myself less googleable, I will refer to the town as LA, or "the hill"- a nickname given with reference to the several mesas that the town sits on, each mesa connected to others by bridges. The largest bridge, going from town to the lab is called "Omega Bridge", which always makes me think doomsday related thoughts. Another bridge whose name escapes me, spans a canyon (ravine?) which borders and runs parallel to our street which we can hike into via a trailhead at the end of the street.
Have you ever watched Eureka? Neither have I, but yes, this is a nerdy science town. On halloween, some physicists carve elaborate jack-o-lanterns with expensive high power lasers. In the lab's bathrooms there is still graffiti but instead of your usual "for a good time" postings there is science graffiti. What is science graffiti? There was a security poster on the stall wall (kind of like a Mormonad, only promoting security) and it was defaced with sciency, nerdy comments. For school science projects, parents are banned (I'm not making this up) from helping their kids. There were too many explosions before the ban. When I sit in restaurants and listen in on conversations, they are mostly about, you guessed it, American Idol. Is a just kidding even necessary here?
The lab is actually 'labs', as there are hundreds of buildings scattered on the 150ish square miles. Even though the entrance to the lab is right in town, I have to drive about 20 minutes to get to my office. Last week there was a bear sighting about 200 yards from the doublewide where my office is. They advised to keep our office doors closed that day. The landscape is actually quite stunning in many places. The whole mountainous area we are in is the remnant of a supervolcano- go look at it in google maps sometime. Its this big splotch of green in the middle of yellow and brown. We're at 7500 feet, which makes it cooler than Salt Lake- it stays around 80 in the middle of summer (except, apparently, when Randy visits and brings his 95 degree Texas weather with him), and in July and August there is a thunderstorm almost every day. In one thunderstorm, we had hail bigger than golfballs that destroyed my garden just a few weeks after I planted it (the 25 tomato plants are just now back to the size they were when I planted them), and caused $4500 damage to our Ford Explorer. I felt kind of left out that Jenny's car got hail damage and mine was left out, but that was remedied the following week when another, smaller storm hit the area where my doublewide is. I only got $500 from that, though.
The stoplights are all horizontal. Whats up with that?
The ward is huge. 400+ active members in town, plus another 400+ down in a smaller bedroom community. I went to a dinner party at some elderly couple's house, and the conversation was not what you usually hear at Mormon dinner parties. One of the people at the table was talking about talking to deputy secretary of state so-and-so about Russia's such-and-such, and there was a conversation about the differences between various nuclear reactor designs, and then the host talked about his visits to North Korea as part of an inspections regime. Jenny was talking to one of the mom's one day and she was complaining about her husband being away at scout camp, but that "at least it wasn't a total waste of time since he solved the problem on his patent one night".
There are enough people who play ultimate here in the summer to form more than 6 or 7 teams. They play Monday through Thursday, and Saturday.
Our house is nice, in the sense that it is perfect for us. Its a few hundred square feet bigger than our last place, but what makes it awesome is the sunroom with the glass walls and ceiling that can house an indoor garden in the winter, and the backyard which has 3 levels: a lower courtyard including a fireplace surrounded by a a stone seating area, a terraced perennial/tree garden, and an upper area with a big lawn, big fruit trees, and a big garden complete with garden boxes. The back fence of the backyard has a gate the opens onto this pathway that snakes along other back fences, is not accessible by car, and ends up at our neighborhood park that is also not accessible by car. I'd be eating all those apples, pears, grapes, and nectarines right now if it wasn't all destroyed in that hailstorm.
The history of the place is really interesting- I won't go into it here, but I just watched a few things on the history channel that were pretty good, and there's a bunch of stuff on the internet which is decent. The science museum in town as a few decommissioned nuclear weapons that you can touch which is pretty cool.
Well my bladder is full and there is a security sticker with my name on it.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Up on the Hill
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
A Crazy White Man
Amy, her friend Patricia and I went to Natural Bridge Virginia to see some sights in the area. First we went to the Pink Cadillac Café. It came complete with a Pink Cadillac outside,
a King Kong holding an airplane
and Humpty Dumpty.
The inside was just as classy.
We then drove down to Foamhenge. Foamhenge is just like Stonehenge, except it’s made out of Styrofoam, took a lot less time to complete and only required the labor of “4-5 Mexicans and one crazy white man” to get done. Advantage: Foamhenge. 
Unlike Stonehenge you could walk around the area. Advantage: Foamhenge.
The Crazy White Man also posited the theory that Merlin anachronistically created Stonehenge using magic and included a fiberglass replica of him. Yet again, Advantage: Foamhenge.
We then went to the Crazy White Man’s other creation: Dinoland.
Don’t let the name fool you, there’s much more than fiberglass dinosaurs in the area.
There’s a story told about some family who found the dinosaurs with their pet monkey Blinky, but so had the North during the Civil War and were going to use the animals as weapons of mass destruction against the south. 
Also included (of course) is a cow with a deer on his back with a rabbit on his head with a mouse on his head, surrounded by dinosaurs. 
We then went to the actual Natural Bridge. Thomas Jefferson bought it as a tourist place and George Washington surveyed it.
It's a little bit of a drive from DC (about 3 hours) but definitely worth it for a day trip.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
A taste of Los Alamos
We were lucky enough to stop by Los Alamos for a couple days earlier this month. It is a pretty area. Nick and Jenny had only been in the house about a week when we called them at 10 pm Friday night telling them we'd be there early in the morning. They stayed up late organizing and it looked pretty good when we knocked on their door shortly after 7 am.
The yard has lots of potential--Nick already had a bunch of stuff planted, of course. They have a cool sun room where we ate. But I'll try not to steal Nick's thunder too much.
We had some good food, as usual, and Nick even gave me a sampler pack of his canned salsa (is it still called "canned" when it's in a jar?). I'm already done with over half of what he gave me--GOOD STUFF!
Here are some pictures of the action. Sorry for the poor quality, there was a big smudge on my lens. 
Friday, July 17, 2009
Willpower
So Katie and I have both been running. We are so awesome.
We were partially motivated by Nick's progress in fitness. We started out running in the evening about 3 times a week. (One at a time, so there's someone with the kids. You know - parenting and all that.) A few weeks ago, we decided that we would start running in the morning instead of the evening - so it takes double willpower. We each run every other day, but we still get up on the off day to do other exercise. For example I am working towards one hundred pushups.
My goal is to break 21 minutes in a 5K before it gets too cold to run. Katie's goal is more realistic.
In other news, I passed my latest exam. It took me three tries. That's 5, so 4 more to go.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Phone envy
I'm writing this post with my new phone. It's the new LG enV (pronounced 'envy') touch. While it's not quite an iphone, I think its the next best thing- I'm typing this nearly as fast on the touchscreen as I type on a regular keyboard, and it opens up to reveal a qwerty keyboard with a second beautiful screen. I'm sure smartphones, iphones and blackberries are old news to everyone, but I had to share my excitement with someone, and it might as well be you.
By the way, I've been working on a los alamos post for a few weeks now, so stay tuned...
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Oldie, but goodie.
For the first time in my life, my baldness and general appearance beyond my years have paid off. Today is General Employee Training for new hires, which is scheduled from 8 am to 5 pm. During the first break, I overheard the trainer talking to a classmate who was an older guy in his 40's saying that he didn't have to stay for the rest of the day long class and could just go take the test, since the class was meant mainly for younger workers. I piped up and said, "You mean, us old guys can just go?", rubbing my bald spot for good measure.
1 multiple choice *test later, I was on my way to sweet freedom, or rather on my way back to work.
Footnotes
________________________________________________________________
*I scored 100%. But with questions like:
What should you do in the event of a fire?
a.Notify your manager when you have time.
b.Open all your windows.
c.Call 911
d.Call the environmental protection agency.
my score made me feel minimally competent.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Even more ham of the sandwich
Two quick updates to my list of clientisms:
-We need to put on the table all the cats and dogs we recognize and give them names.
-You're as lost as a cockroach on a chicken farm.
....
Thursday, May 21, 2009
When it rains...
So I just got an email from a university in California that wants to fly me out to interview for a faculty position. Excellent timing. And it's in San Luis Obispo, right in my perfect climate zone (Low 80's in the summer, mid 60's in the winter).
3 days too late.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Real job, not fake job.
I was worried there for a few weeks that this was not going to happen. The paperwork process was taking such a long time, with little communication from the guy who hired me, I was starting to think he had second thoughts and was interviewing other people. But no, I called him today and the committee has given its approval, finally. We are indeed going to Los Alamos. Very soon.
Unemployment, its been fun, but I think its time for me to move on. Its not you, its me. We're just moving in different directions. No, don't get emotional, you knew this has been coming. I'll miss the long lazy mornings together, the slow plodding afternoons we spent in each others arms, the vacations I took away from you and yet somehow you hid in my suitcase desperate not to let me out of your sight. You were my constant companion, always whispering sweet nothings in my ear, even as I cursed your name. You were faithful to me, never leaving my side. But you deserve another. Someone more faithful. I gave it my all, but 2 years was just about my limit. So long, my love. Don't try to find me. That would just be awkward.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Motherhood
I don't have time this year to reflect on motherhood. Luckily, Rosalynde has written what I would, if there only more time, and fewer dishes. http://timesandseasons.org/index.php/2005/05/mothers-day-3/
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Roadtrip completed, and the result is:
A job.
Yes, a job. A real job. Not fake, but real. No imaginary jobs here. Just real. It apparently will give me compensation in the form of "money" in exchange for work on my part (is this common?). Occasionally, they will pay me to go on "vacation", and will also subsidize something called "health insurance", all completely new terms to me.
I'd love to tell you what I'll be working on, but the problem is, I don't really know since they wouldn't tell me. Its classified. You see, the job is at a little place called Los Alamos National Lab. You know, the one with all the nukes.
How did I get a job at LANL? I don't honestly know. I've applied to hundreds of jobs over the past two years, all of them I found advertised on various sites like monster and other career sites, occasionally on the site of the company itself like Boeing (curse you Boeing for the 20-30 jobs I applied to with you, and you never gave me the time of day!). This one just kind of appeared out of thin air. I emailed a former student of my undergraduate advisor and asked him if he knew of any postdoc positions open at the lab. He emailed back and said, why yes, I need to hire one right away, when's the soonest I can fly you down for an interview? I said, in about 10 minutes. A week later we were driving to Los Alamos, NM (a much longer drive than it looks on a map, by the way).
It still feels a little surreal, like he's going to call at any minute and say, Oh, sorry, the funding dried up. Or, oops, I just interviewed someone else and I think they'd be a better fit. Or maybe I find out that the guy is just some quack scientist who will be shut down or let go in a few months. But no, this guy is the real thing. He ran a huge research institute at the University of Louisiana for a few years, and has ran a big group at LANL for years now working on classified projects. He showed me his lab, and he has equipment laying around in the dust in the corner that any university physics lab would murder for. His last paper was on making brand new materials in nano-fiber form with a high power laser that no one has ever made before. Its real. He showed me the high power femtosecond laser, patted it and said, This will be your baby for a few years.
He even said that if I'm a good fit after 2 years, I'd be hired on as a full staff member, the equivalent of a tenured professor at a university.
I'm totally not making this up.
I still almost don't believe it, since the job is better than anything I'd dreamed of having- I thought only MIT or caltech grads who did stunning research with nobel laureates get to go to LANL. Not me. Especially now after two years of looking, I thought I was defective.
He wants us to come down within weeks. As soon as the paperwork goes through (which really is the only thing that could derail this, and he said that he's never been denied a postdoc by his higher-ups), we leave. Well, as soon as we can sell the house- if thats even possible to do in a few weeks.
Yes, its not Seattle, but I gave Seattle plenty of time to come up with a job for me. You lost, Seattle, the prize goes to Los Alamos. Even you, Washington, couldn't muster a job- you got beaten by New Mexico. You snooze, you lose, west coast- I gave you 18 months.
Anyway, we stayed in Los Alamos for a full day (a full, blizzardy day), and tried to get to know the area a bit. Its on top of a mesa, several mesas actually, such that each neighborhood is on a different mesa and there are bridges connecting them. It is surprisingly very green (zoom out on google maps and you'll see what I mean), and the weather is really nice for most of the year- only high 70's/low 80's in the summer, but cold (and sunny) in the winter. The schools are amazing, always ranked near the top of public schools nationally. There is no crime. Its hard to commit crimes when there are soldiers with machine guns in humvees making occasional patrols. And most of the 12,000 residents are scientists, who, as we know from many hero/villain movies, make really incompetent criminals.
My work is 12 miles down this deserted, canyon road that looks like it was straight out of a car or motorcycle commercial- weavy, up and down, stunning scenery. The landscape is amazing- red rock, green trees, rivers and streams- all right there mixed in with the neighborhoods and the lab. My building is out in the middle of nowhere, and looks like a storage shed on the outside. On the inside, it is a high tech world class physics lab, but they want to fool potential spies. In fact, the layout of the lab is such that the buildings are scattered on this huge 40 square mile chunk of land, with each many mile apart from the next. They did this originally for three purposes: first, since they were working on the atomic bomb, they didn't want one accidentally going off and wiping out all the scientists- if they're spread out not all of them die. Second, better security- if someone manages to get into one lab, that lab only has a small portion of sensitive material, and third, in the original Manhattan project they kept the nature of the work secret from nearly all the scientists who worked there by keeping them separated- only a few at the top knew what they were working on.
So anyway, still in shock, but I have a job. Or at least a 99% certainty of having a job within a few weeks.
(ps- Julie, don't tell your mom yet- we're going to tell her when she gets here in a day or two.)
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Jenny and her Conferences
Jenny organized, and presented at a conference held at BYU. Here is the news story.