Friday, December 05, 2008

December's Post

Since I haven't posted in over a month, and I don't foresee myself posting for another month, here is some filler.

Lucy had surgery on Tuesday. She had her chocolate spot (birthmark) taken off her foot. The surgeon cut out the rather large mark and stretched the surrounding skin together, sewed it up, and put the whole leg in a splint so she can't walk on it. The only think worse than a very busy Lucy running around the house wrecking havoc is a very busy Lucy who demands to be carried all over the house as she wrecks havoc.

I'm applying to be a professor at a bunch of colleges. The list includes:
Willamette (oregon)
Seattle U
Eastern Wash. U
Columbia Basin College (eastern Wa)
Gonzaga (Eastern Wa)
UC Santa Barbara
UC Merced
College of Idaho (Caldwell)
University of Redlands (Ca)
Kenyon College (Ohio)
Wooster College (Ohio)
Several more small Ohio/Pennsylvania/Massachusetts liberal arts colleges.

I've also started applying to a bunch of private high schools around the country. Several are boarding schools. I'm going to be head of Ravenclaw house. And possibly a x-country and Ultimate frisbee coach.

Is it just me, or is Al Franken just not funny anymore?

Here's a word that I hear far too often, mostly from people on NPR trying to sound a lot smarter than they are: Dialogue. I remember listening to a story about the prop 8 protesters at the LA temple, and one of the ex-missionary gay guys goes up to the security guard, and in his high melodramatic whiny voice asks "Is there anyone here we can have a dialogue with?" Its the new buzz word for people who want to sound informed, progressive and sophisticated, without having to bother with saying anything of substance. No matter what issue you're talking about, just throw in that you want to start a dialogue between the various parties, and anyone with a liberal bent will swoon in progressive delight.

It snowed here once in October, and once in early November, but it is still consistently in the 50's. Best fall ever.

So I think the family of this one kid I tutor every day is trying to subtly convert me. They're evangelicals, and also the nicest people in the world. They came to my concert last night with the Sandy chorus and orchestra, and they've invited me to come to their church's christmas concert, which, according to the flyer, is designed for members to be able to bring their friends and neighbors who "don't know God". It's fun being on the receiving end of missionary work for a change- I'm actually quite flattered that they like me enough to even bother doing it. Unfortunately, I won tickets to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's concert for the same night (yes, you have to WIN the tickets through an online lottery), so I made them a counter offer for them to come with us since I had two extra tickets. And they thought they could out-missionary me.

I am apparently the new favorite person in the ward for many of the nursery kids. There are these two little girls a bit younger than Lucy that want me to hold them whenever they see me. In class on Sunday, one of the girls got off her Mom's lap to come over to sit on her Dad's lap, who was sitting next to me. But when she saw I was there, she reached up for me instead and proceeded to snuggle me for about 20 minutes while her dad looked on and laughed. Life's good when a bunch of three year olds think you're the best thing in the world. Maybe its because I slip them candy when their parents aren't looking.

Jenny was accepted to deliver a paper at a conference to be held at Harvard next spring. Go Jenny and her big brain!

Jenny also just photoshopped a picture we took of my parents while they were here- my dad has a fake eye, and whenever he gets his picture taken it looks like one eye is staring off into space. She made it look like it is roughly looking at the camera. Which reminds me of the time I was sitting next to dad in church when he leaned over to me and whispered, "Can you go pick up my eye? It just rolled down the aisle."

You don't hear much good news coming from the financial crisis these days, but I am pleased to report that our drug dealing neighbors had their house foreclosed on them. Sad for the kids, true, but good for my property value as the new owners (a young newly married couple) are completely remodeling the house. Bonus: no more cars driving very slowly down our street with the driver looking very carefully at our houses through binoculars, stopping, backing up, pulling into our neighbors driveway, going into the house and emerging two minutes later with a small package tucked under their arm. And no more horse-dogs pooping on my lawn.

My wife has decorated our living room wall with a bunch of extended family pictures. That is normal. Above these pictures is the phrase {} spelled out with large black stickers (curly braces and dot included). That is abnormal.

I've cooked three turkeys in 1.1 months.

I'm back subbing at Brighton High school, but this time instead of one teacher's classes calling me Jason Bourne, there are now 4 teacher's classes calling me Jason Bourne. It's like I'm regular faculty there now, except that I have super powers- well, at least the super powers that secret agents have.

I bought three new pairs of pants (since my old ones were exposing my crotchal area with their many holes) at a thrift store. I like them because they really show off my assets. And by assets, I mean my bottom.

Lucy doesn't like going potty on the toilet. When we asked her why she liked going potty in her diaper, she said, "Because it keeps my bum warm!"

There's this kid in one of my math classes whose name is Gray Davis. Thats funny because California voters recalled another Gray Davis, replacing him with one Arnold Schwarzenegger. Its even funnier because this kid is really small and puny, and every one in the class picks on him. Ok, thats not so funny.

Speaking of strange pictures that Jenny puts up on our bedroom wall, along with a bunch of other random pictures and drawings, there is: a drawing of a Victorian era young woman with antlers coming out of her head, and a drawing of a man with a goatee and shifty eyes.

One of the members of our ward has decorated their house and the very large tree in their front yard with christmas lights- probably 20 strands worth. The problem is that they think it is cool that every strand have a blinker in it, such that the entire tree flicks on, off, on, off, on, off, as well as the rest of the christmas lights on the lights. So tacky.

And that is December's post.


Julie C said...

oh gee whiz - where to start ...

I'm not sure if it was intentional, but I like the substitution of "wrecks havoc" instead of the more traditional "wreaks havoc"; the first term is just that much more descriptive.

Consider adding BYU-Hawaii to the list - then everyone will always come to visit you and you won't have to travel all over to see your friends and family.

The dialogue section made me laugh, probably because we have all sorts of catch-phrases at work that are totally just to explain why it is someone else's fault that you didn't do your work. I personally like writing up how many meetings I "supported" instead of "attended" in the weekly accomplishments chart.

And I'm really happy about your new neighbors. Now if it were just possible to get rid of the ghetto front yard 6 foot high chain link fence (my memory may be exaggerating there).

Guess that's about it - enjoy your warmth and beautiful weather!

Nick said...

I had a feeling 'wreak' was spelled wrong, since I knew it was pronounced "wreek" and not "wrek", but I was too lazy to spell check.

apyknowzitall said...

I forgot to ask Jenny when I talked to her a couple of days ago, how long is Lu splinted up for?

Don't forget about Lakeside and O'Gea- uh I meant O'Dea, PLU, SPU, and there's NWU if you want to go the Bible thumper route. I was going to apply there for BSN but couldn't handle the idea of paying to take a Bible Studies course before graduation.

Hey if I send you a couple of pics could you photo shop them for me?

Cabeza said...

Good to catch up. There's been a dearth of posting here (and an unusually steady stream at my own blog).

I'm guessing that the Naval Research Laboratories lead didn't work out. The Lorax actually did a very nice job of following up with Dr. Clemm, sending him your resume multiple times and calling him up to see where he was at. Good ol' Lorax.

Nick said...

Jared- Thanks for sending that along. Unfortunately, no, I never heard anything back from either of them. But now that I know about the Naval research laboratory, I can check out jobs posted there online. Thanks!

Ben and Shara said...

Thank heavens I was starting to wonder where you guys went.

Glad to here things are the same. I am curious as to why you had Lucy's birthmark removed. Was it in the way of veins or something?

When can we see you guys next? I'm sure you are very busy. but let us know.