Friday, April 13, 2007

Light

This is just because I felt like it


Light
Happy Bright Eyes
Free Laughter
Confidant
Full of Life, Full Life Ahead
Planning, Hoping, Dreaming, Believing
Newly married, starting life
We change direction
Surprises, disappointments
broken
alone
so dark, empty life
collapse in failure
broken
nothing as planned, nothing counts
failure shame lack of faith
broken
Drowning
Tears
Silence inside
wish I never existed
hurt oh hurt
curled up inside
failure and tears
shared while wrapped in quilts
a friend with kind eyes
Teaching
A hand
Grasping but I resist
Arms enfold but I fight
nothing will work, why try
His voice I obey
thoughts start again
try this
gulp
my wish not even hope yet
endless darkness
then a light
but it fades
still broken
so quiet not peace just empty
not good enough
try again
okay
wish one more time
climb the mountain of darkness
no strength but that I borrowed
held up by other hands
light returns
the faded world is bleak
I ignore it anyway
live through it
keep living
it's not your fault
hold me hug me love me
I need a lot
I get more
I want again
I care again
darkness fades to only a fear
fear of its return
time helps to forget
life is grey
as a child all was good or bad
life was perfect or awful
now I grow up
life is always grey
there is always darkness
there is always light
lack of perfection
no longer means failure
as help takes leave
I stand on weak knees
I fall, but on my knees I find
there is still help
there is still strength
I try
I leap
I land
I stand
In light





2 comments:

Jenny said...

Wow. Julsie, you capture a lot in this. I love you!

Julie C said...

I love you too!