Thursday, February 28, 2008

Not too Different

I've always had the idea that it's hard to change things about myself, but if I had some BIG event in my life I would change more easily. To some extent it's true too. I was a "shy nerd" in high school, and I let out my inner extrovert my first year of college. I definitely had to change a lot of things in my life when I got married too. But two weeks ago, I had my first (and hopefully last) trip in an ambulance, which pretty much saved my life. And do I feel different? Not much.

Differences: I am tired with less than 12 hours of sleep, I have a new scar, I have aches and pains, I bought a new dishwasher, I lost weight.
Similarities: It's still hard to pay attention to the Isaiah chapters, I still boss Dan around a bit too much, I still remember to say my prayers only after I've already gotten into bed, I still am not excited about my job (understatement), I still like talking/chatting with friends more than working, I feel like my testimony is still the same (there, but not as great as I hope it ends up someday).

But. The other day I talked with my little brother - he called me. And when I mentioned my concerns about how I must be a lump of coal because I hadn't drastically changed, he said something like, "Well, you sure changed me! I'm calling everybody a lot more now and just talking with the family." Awww... maybe more things have changed that I haven't noticed yet either. As for myself? I'm back to trying to make changes the slow way - reading scriptures, praying for guidance, and paying attention to the things I like and don't like about myself. That's probably how things were just meant to be.


erin said...

Good grief! Are you okay? I hope so. Whatever happened, that kind of stuff is scary, isn't it? I got in an accident on the freeway just about two weeks ago, and I tell you what--that was scary, and I didn't even have an ambulance.

Julie C said...

I'm getting more okay all the time. I'm glad it sounds like you're all right after that accident too!

For some reason I didn't realize I was in serious danger, so it seems scarier now thinking about it than it seemed while it was all happening. Maybe that's why I didn't feel the impact like I expected to - by the time I knew I had had real trouble, it was over.