Thursday, October 25, 2007

I Chipped My Tooth

And by 'me' I mean a student in the gym class I was subbing for who was not looking where his arm was going as he wildly threw a frisbee, and by 'chipped' I mean a barely visible crack. And moments after I had doubled over in pain, I felt a little deja vu. I've been here before! Oh wait, it wasn't me, it was Cabeza. And it wasn't an arm, it was a hockey puck. And it wasn't a faint crack, it was a large chunk of tooth.

So while that traumatic experience was not mine, it was still hard for me to witness since I have this thing about teeth. When I was in Argentina, a good 50% of all adults (and many children) had visibly rotting teeth. Some would just be brown, in the early stages of rot, but some would be so visibly rotted that they would look strikingly like exhibit A here over on the left. Some were worse. And the breath- just imagine the breath. So on my mission I started having these nightmares where I'd just be sitting there, and then suddenly all my teeth would crack and fall into my hands. These nightmares have subsided somewhat in the 7 years I've been back, but I still get them occasionally. I think I had several after Cabeza's "incident", and as I was hunched over holding my precious, unstained, beautiful teeth, those dreams and those rotting teeth were all I could think of.

The dentist says it should be fine (though he didn't see the crack, and I didn't discover it until later), but if it starts TURNING BROWN (!!!!!) to come see him again for a root canal. I asked him if, after it turns brown, will it be bleachable or something. Nope. It would need a veneer glued onto it.

So the moral of the story is: Nick is tooth-breaking-or-rotting-o-phobic. And don't stand next to teenagers throwing frisbees, or anything else. And duck when hockey pucks are flying at your head.


The Shark said...

Nick, I have the same dream now and then, where my teeth crumble apart and fall out of my mouth. I've looked around and found out that it's quite a common dream, and it is related to the psychological concern about our physical appearances. I don't think it necessarily means we are vain, I think it just means we want to look nice, maybe.

And that picture made me want to vomit. I could never be a dentist because I would not be able to stand sticking my fingers into a mouth like that.

The original Jenny Webb said...

Niche- Totally hilarious post. You do have good teeth. Very nice. Oh, and so do I. We inherited the good teeth gene from.....GG! jk And that picture was discusting!

Amy Jean said...

that is my worst fear. my dreams always consist of wiggling a loose tooth all night and then finally it falls out and I have to get somebody to rush me to the dentist with my tooth in a glass of milk...I always wake up with a sore mouth. Hope it doesn't mean I'm vain? :) husband is still sorry about that hockey puck experience Jared--is it funny yet?

Cabeza said...

First off, it was not a puck, as we were using a red rubber ball. It was the broken head of a broom, sent flying after the collision of several players, that struck me in the mouth. And I always thought it was from Jon's broom, not Ryan's.... is he confessing something...?!

As for it being funny, sure. I laugh about it and tell the story when I get the opportunity. I kind of wish I didn't have a crown on that front tooth, though, but it looks fine.

Really, though, more than laugh about it I kind of think of the experience fondly. That night I felt so loved and befriended. First, everyone looked for my tooth fragment (before we determined that I had swallowed it). Then Bob drove me to the emergency room in his brand-new Sonata with beige interior, even though I was still bleeding all over. The Kitchen Sisters jumped in the car with me to make sure I wouldn't be alone while Bob was parking the car. Then Nick and about twenty other people showed up at the ER with my guitar and you all sang to me and told me jokes while I waited to be stitched. I came home to find three creamery milkshakes and two jello "pies" waiting for me at my apartment. Later, Megan Van Ausdal took out my lip stitches for me. I really, really, really felt like I had the best friends in the world. So a big thanks to everyone. Except Jon, who still owes me a Costco broom and four tooth nerves.

Just kidding.

Sorry for turning this into a sappy post. But I don't know if I ever properly thanked you guys for taking care of me after the Broom Hockey Saga.

Amy Jean said...

hmm...I asked Ry about this again last night and he confirmed that he thought it was his broom. any other points of view out there? what's the real story?

Anyway, you're welcome Jared...but I have to thank you too because I gained out of that night too...

1. I decided that I would give in and date Ryan (don't ask me why)
2. I found a great hairstyle to wear for my wedding that I tore out of a bridal magazine in the hospital waiting room. Thanks, Kelly, for supporting my crime.
3. I vowed never to have to get a root canal after seeing your face in the dentist's office.

Kelly said...

Well, I was informed of the recent comments about the infamous broom hockey fiasco, and I thought it was only right that I set the record straight.

Here's what happened:
A) It was I, Kelly Kitchen, who organized the game for family home evening that night, so I guess I was partially to blame.
B) Jared Gillans can't honestly release himself from all responsibility for what happened. . .don't y'all remember how agressively he was playing that night? He charged into the group, madly attacking anything that stood in his path, and his rapacious motions are what actually broke the broom and caused it to take flight and land in his mouth.
C) Jon Frederickson was holding the broom when it broke
D) It was Ryan Fitzgibbon who loaned the broom to Jon.

And thats the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. So Jared lost his tooth. But, in the end, we all know it was a great blessing. Jared can now use it to pick up on women, or impress his wife if he has one now (let's face it, who isn't attracted to fake teeth?), it helped Amy and Ryan get together, and, most importantly, was the ultimate inspiration for Amy's wedding hairdo.

So, in the end, instead of pointing fingers at myself, Jon, Jared and Ryan, placing the blame on us for this "tragedy", I think we deserve a prize.

The Shark said...

I pose the following question to Kelly only because I want to beat Jared to the punch:

Who is this "Jared Gillans" who was present at the game?

Kelly said...

So I don't remember anyone's last name. So sue me. . .

JonnyF said...

I suppose I should add my two cents, though I admit that my memory of the night is a little fuzzy - probably a subconscious reaction to the traumatic guilt.
I believe we determined at the time that it was a piece of my broom that broke and flew and hit Jared in the mouth. I don't think anyone actually saw it very well. I remember:
1. Trying to hit the ball with the broom.

2. Hearing Jared make some sort of grunt and start clutching his mouth

3. Everyone looking around to try to figure out what happened

4. Me noticing that my broom was broken and pieces of the plastic were missing

5. I certainly do not recall any rapacious motions - at least not by Jared. From Kelly, maybe.

Jared was standing or running several yards away from the broom in question. I don't recall who struck my broom (except that it wasn't Jared) and caused it to break, nor do I recall whose broom I was borrowing. (I vaguely remember that I still owe Jared a broom, but I might have broken that at another broom hockey game earlier that summer.)

I have never decided whether I should feel guilty or not about this. I am surely sorry it happened in the sense that I wish it hadn't. And I do know how proud Jared is of his teeth. However, I don't know if I could have prevented it except by just not playing. It was kind of a freak accident, the physics of which still astound me.

So now two questions:
Does anybody remember if there were nose flutes involved when we visited Jared at the emergency room?
Do they sell tooth nerves at Costco?